Car 54, Where Are You? S02 E26 Joan Crawford Didn't Say No

"Patrolmen Toody and Muldoon are at the wheel, which means Car 54 could be anywhere!"

When a septuagenarian delicatessen owner reports he will be marrying Joan Crawford, the boys of the 53rd are sent out to bust the phony matrimonial service that promises to pair its clients with Hollywood movie stars.