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According to Elena Novikova, from birth, every woman hears this infernal mechanism: "the ticking clock." This ticking dictates when to get married, when to have children, how to look, and where to be. By 30, this sound becomes deafening, by 45, it becomes background noise, and by 56, Novikova claims, zen finally sets in. Elena dissects every stage of the female "obstacle course": from beauty standards, ageism, maternal exploits, to menopause.