Ghostly Forms

"While attempting to manifest my father's presence through his absence, how do I use the cinema to express something unseeable and immaterial?"

After experiencing the prolonged illness and eventual loss of my father, I went through a mental and physical breakdown. In particular, I suffered from an eating disorder. I sometimes binge eat and other days, I barely eat. I think fasting is the only way to get closer to my father and punish myself by suffering from guilt. While attempting to manifest his presence through his absence, how do I use the cinema to express something unseeable and immaterial?