3 out of ALL stars!
A very unpleasant movie. During marketing it was presented as 'sophisticated' science fiction evoking Interstellar. In execution it's like Jim Hanson's Interstellar, an episode of 80s Sesame Street with a money-press budget. Mistake? Confusion? Narcotics? Nefarious nihilism? You decide. A high-brow european actress known for dramatic roles was cherry-picked into a non-descript role, hired to maintain the 'sophisticated' science fiction impression. Scenes with melodrama, gravitas and pathos interchange with scenes of Muppet Show buffoonery like in a throughly shuffled deck of cards. The ship's computer is less competent than Robbie the Robot and serves as another buffoony puppet alongside Gossling - you read that right, ohoho. Gossling spends half of the movie doing a Will Ferrel level SNL impression of a kind drunk trucker in full kind-drunk-trucker getup. Nothing wrong with kind drunk truckers, especially when parked in rest-stops, they are the red blood cells of the nation! But doing an overstayed impression of one to both fill time and appeal to ALL is rude lazyness masquarading as machiavellism. In fact least puppety is Rocky, who shows most charachter depth and is easiest to sympathize with as a skilled alien faced with the incompetence porn that surrounds him.
A movie about how to build a box around a box for darkness in a high-security facility using ad placement store-with-home-utility materials, even though said box is already in a large room that is in fact a box, the lights of which can be switched off. A movie about selecting an everyman teacher for his supressed brilliance, which quickly turns out to be incorrect, for no one to ever mention it is in fact correct upon meeting Rocky, a non-water based lifeform. A movie where a single person staffs an advanced high security lab while all others are baseball hat ordering onlookers/foremen watching that one municipal worker shovel and dig. A movie about sun-eating cells that are made mostly, or to quote Gossling 'ENTIRELY' out of water yet are able to live both in the freezing cold of space and atomizing heat of the sun, that they EAT. A movie with an advanced robot assistant that tries to shave you with a brand placement hand-held shaver. A movie where half of it is made from colorful tiktok reels of Ryan Gossling dancing or bobbing as a kind trucker, but far less competent. A movie where an advanced explorative alien science vessel is less capable of outer-atmosphere flybys than a rickety bucket that tries to shave you with a rechargeable shaver, inside which everyone but the Goss died for reasons™. A movie that gets more boring the higher you get - a true rarity. A movie that makes you feel stupid for trying to count all it's incompetent nonsense. A movie of today.
