The Masseuses

Pasquale Baudaffi, on amnesty, comes out of prison and starts looking for a job with the help of his cousin Gaetano. But first he goes to what was once a brothel, but, unbeknownst to our hapless hero, has been taken over and rented as a dental office. Pasquale finds himself at the center of endless misunderstandings. He tries to be a gamekeeper but that's not okay, he tries to be a waiter in a bar: he immediately gets his orders wrong and he is fired. His performance as a garage keeper was negative. The very latest experience is in an electronics company but its insertion into the futuristic mechanism triggers the craziest complications. The encounter with a lost dog allows him to get to know his mistress and thus discover the woman of his life.

An anthology presents three storylines, all set in the Italian town of Treviso: A husband pretends to be impotent as a cover for having an affair; a bank clerk abandons his wife for his mistress, but the rest of the town's husbands become jealous and unite to conspire against them; and local men all seduce a promiscuous young woman, but when her father eventually reveals that she is underage, they all face prosecution for statutory rape.

While doing the inventory for a lingerie outlet in a high rise office building, five attractive women are terrorized by a series of bizarre killings. They suspect that the strange janitor, who witnessed another series of killings years back, is at the bottom of the whole thing. Little do they know the real horror that they face in the end.

A 15-year-old girl incites chaos among her friends and a media frenzy when she accuses her drama teacher of sexual harassment.

Lia and Tina are two beautiful girls who meet and realize that they have a lot in common. They are both young, beautiful and pissed off, so they decide to hitchhike their way to Rome to find Nazariota's commune, a place to stay for free and have all the sex they want... or so they think. Things don't go as they have planned though, and soon they become involved in prostitution, the police and an aggressive gang.

A successful erotic film producer from Rome regularly receives letters from female fans seeking his advice on how to spice up their sex lives. Thanks to his years of experience in both the film business and the sex industry, he has all sorts of tips at the ready and, in an emergency, is happy to make a house call himself to demonstrate his qualities in person.

The Duchy of Grand Fenwick decides that the only way to get out of their economic woes is to declare war on the United States, lose and accept foreign aid. They send an invasion force (in chain mail, armed with bows and arrows) to New York and they arrive during a nuclear drill that has cleared the streets.

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

Fed up with working hard just to scrape by, Christine Painter comes up with a bold plan to become the madam of a brothel and earn her financial freedom: she opens a house of spanking to fabulous reviews.

Gianna Amicucci works in the house of the head of her hometown police force and enters the academy with a kickback from him. She is a beautiful woman (she generously sheds clothes during the film) and has to overcome her male colleagues prejudices, but she gains their respect through a series of brilliant operations.