THE ANIMALS GET TATTOOS

Henry Manning has come up with a new way to break out of prison: fake a stroke and get transferred to a nursing home. It's a perfect plan, except for one thing: the woman assigned to take care of him at the nursing home, Carol Ann McKay, has a plan of her own.

Jerry, a misfit Mafia henchman, is assigned the low-level job of keeping an eye on Gino, a shoe repairman fingered by the Mob to confess to a murder he didn't commit. But Gino's mistaken for a Mafia boss, and the two are suddenly catapulted to the highest levels of mobster status. Only friendship will see them through this dangerous adventure alive!

Two FBI agent brothers, Marcus and Kevin Copeland, accidentally foil a drug bust. To avoid being fired they accept a mission escorting a pair of socialites to the Hamptons--but when the girls are disfigured in a car accident, they refuse to go. Left without options, Marcus and Kevin decide to pose as the sisters, transforming themselves from black men into rich European-American women.

A wheelchair-bound singer and her best friend embark on a roadtrip to Memphis.

The Lone Rangers have heavy-metal dreams and a single demo tape they can't get anyone to play. The solution: Hijack an FM rock radio station and hold the deejays hostage until they agree to broadcast the band's tape.

Upon his release from a mental hospital following a nervous breakdown, the directionless Anthony joins his friend Dignan, who seems far less sane than the former. Dignan has hatched a harebrained scheme for an as-yet-unspecified crime spree that somehow involves his former boss, the (supposedly) legendary Mr. Henry.

The mob is trying to strongarm local martial arts schools, forcing young Jason Stillwell and his family to move after his father is injured defending their dojo. With his father now rejecting violence, Jason is forced to train on his own to protect himself and his best friend from the members of a rival karate school.

Something is rotten at the Elsinore Brewery. Bob and Doug McKenzie (as seen on SCTV) help the orphan Pam regain the brewery founded by her recently-deceased father. But to do so, they must confront the suspicious Brewmeister Smith and two teams of vicious hockey players.

A psychotic man opens fire in a diner, murdering numerous people before killing himself. The survivors struggle in different ways following this horrendous event: a doctor doubts his own instincts and elects to use an experimental medical procedure on his wife, while a gambler believes he's on a lucky streak. A waitress begins engaging in promiscuous sex, and a young girl whose father is among the dead gains unexpected fame.

Holly Parker, the wife of a wealthy diplomat, is compromised by the accidental death of a man who has been romantically pursuing her. She is forced by her mother-in-law to assume a new identity in order to save the reputation of her husband and infant son. She wanders the world, trying to forget her heartbreak with the aid of alcohol and unsavory men. Eventually returning to the city of her downfall, she murders a blackmailer who threatens to expose her past. Amazingly, Holly is represented at her murder trial by her now adult son, who has become a public defender. In the hope of protecting her family, she refuses to reveal her real name and is known to the court as "Madame X".