"When all else fails, they don't."
From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite G.I. JOE team uses the latest in next-generation spy and military equipment to fight the corrupt arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious Cobra organization to prevent them from plunging the world into chaos.
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje
Heavy Duty
Christopher Eccleston
McCullen / Destro
Lee Byung-hun
Storm Shadow
Joseph Gordon-Levitt
The Doctor / Rex
Sienna Miller
Ana Lewis / Baroness
Rachel Nichols
Scarlet
Ray Park
Snake Eyes
Jonathan Pryce
U.S. President
Saïd Taghmaoui
Breaker
From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite G.I. JOE team uses the latest in next-generation spy and military equipment to fight the corrupt arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious Cobra organization to prevent them from plunging the world into chaos.
Entertaining in parts but a mess of a plot with some shoddy visual effects even by 2009 standards. Some stunt work was alright but nothing that really stands out and none of the cast really were all that memorable. Did appreciate some of the nods to the cartoons but otherwise just very forgettable. **2.75/5**
People like me were waiting for a GI Joe movie for decades. It was instead kind of a hack that could have been any other movie. I don't think that the distaste came from the fact that the movie could never live up to memories of childhood play. I think that the distaste came from the knoweldge that Larry Hama had decades of fun and wonderful stories to tell, he had written an entire little universe... and the movie was nothing like it. It hardly even resembled the cartoon.
Into the 9.6-quaked Los Angeles of 2013 comes Snake Plissken. His job: wade through L.A.'s ruined landmarks to retrieve a doomsday device.
Chaank Armaments is experimenting with the ultimate fighting machine which is part human - part machine. So far, the Hardman project has been unreliable and has killed a number of innocent people. The genius behind this project is Jack who lives in a world of models, toys and magazines. When he is fired by Cale for killing a few corporate officers, he unleashes the ultimate killing machine called the 'Warbeast' against Cale and those who would help her.
In the near future, a drone pilot is sent into a deadly militarized zone and must work with an android officer to locate a doomsday device.
Researchers on the undersea lab Aquatica have genetically altered the brains of captive sharks to develop a cure for Alzheimer's disease. But there's an unexpected side effect: the sharks got smarter, faster, and more dangerous. After a big storm damages their remote research facility, they must fight for their lives.
A world of the very near future in which cattle, fish, and even the family pet can be cloned. But cloning humans is illegal - that is until family man Adam Gibson comes home from work one day to find a clone has replaced him. Taken from his family and plunged into a sinister world he doesn't understand, Gibson must not only save himself from the assassins who must destroy him to protect their secret, but uncover who and what is behind the horrible things happening to him.
An accident occurs in an ultra-secret government biological weapons laboratory spreading a sinister bacteria.
A prototype enhanced human, on the run from Chinese-hired hit men, hooks up with a dread-locked bystander, and the two of them elude their pursuers narrowly each time.
When a virus leaks from a top-secret facility, turning all resident researchers into ravenous zombies and their lab animals into mutated hounds from hell, the government sends in an elite military task force to contain the outbreak.
In a world ravaged by crime, the entire island of Manhattan has been converted into a walled prison where brutal prisoners roam free. After the US president crash-lands inside, war hero Snake Plissken has 24 hours to bring him back.
A robotics company vying to win a lucrative military contract team up with a corrupt CIA agent to conduct an illegal live field test. They deploy four weaponized prototype robots into a suspected drug manufacturing camp in the Golden Triangle, assuming they'd be killing drug runners that no one would miss. Six doctors on a humanitarian mission witness the brutal slaughter and become prime targets.