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Dawn of an Evil Millennium

An epic, 20-minute, completely fabricated theatrical trailer for a crypto-Vestron Video cheapie (by way of Willow-era Ron Howard)—a supposedly 18-hour movie about a Jeff Daniels lookalike demon sent to destroy the planet (and possibly the universe) with his "Turbo-power!" Olds dragster. There are shades of John Carpenter's They Live, caffeinated Evil Dead speed-freakery, a cameo by Miles O'Keeffe, and uncanny movie preview clichés, such as sentence prepositions that never reach a resolution: "On an alien planet…the beauty and wisdom of a sorceress…." Sometimes the liner note blurbs speak for themselves: "Damon Packard is to Stephen Spielberg what George Kuchar is to Douglas Sirk."

Dawn of an Evil Millennium

6.6 1988
The Orchard End Murder

Charthurst Green, Kent, 1966. Pauline Cox accompanies Mike Robins to a village cricket match in which he is playing, but becomes bored and wanders away. She fetches up at the local railway station, where she is first entertained to tea by the garrulous, hunchbacked station master, then upset by the intrusion of the latter's assistant Ewen, who proceeds to kill a rabbit in her presence. Making her way back to the match, Pauline is waylaid by the simple-minded Ewen as she crosses an apple orchard; when his advances become violent, she tries to fight him off and he strangles her. The station master helps in covering up the murder, burying the corpse in the orchard.

The Orchard End Murder

5.8 1981
The Story of Boys and Girls

At a farmhouse, a large family cooks mountains of food for the next day's engagement party for Silvia and her city fiancé, Angelo. Her parents feud about infidelity; an aging salesman who rents a cottage from them arrives with a young French woman; in Bologna, Angelo's mother frets that her son is marrying beneath him; his sisters are less critical. Early the next morning, the four of them go by train to the farmhouse, joined by Angelo's married, unpregnant sister. The day-long dinner is riotous, couples display affection and impatience, children chase angels. Angelo's family stays the night, and his sister Linda has a visitor. A silver elephant makes the perfect gift.

The Story of Boys and Girls

6.7 1989
Ulta Seedha

Justice M.K. Roy is a traditional and orthodox gentleman, who is unable to understand nor appreciate the carelessness of today's youth. He has brought up his daughter, Shobha, with these same traditions, and he hopes to get her married in a good household. To his shock and dismay, Shobha is in love with Ramesh Saxena, an unemployed youth, who has no respect for tradition. Justice Roy is opposed to any alliance with Ramesh in any way whatsoever, until and unless Ramesh gets a suitable and respectable job, and learns to respect tradition. Ramesh does get a job with a textile mill, and gets a bonus payment, which is to be presented to him in an open ceremony, presided over by Justice Roy. When the bonus payment is being handed over to Ramesh, a woman comes forward and claims that Ramesh is her husband, who had abandoned her soon after their marriage.

Ulta Seedha

8.5 1985
Groper Train: Forbidden Finger

The dropout angel Candy descends to the mortal world on God's command to make the world's most miserable man, Matsutaro, happy. At work, Matsutaro is constantly yelled at by his boss, Sonoyama, but he secretly loves Mirai, who works in the same sales department, and gives her a gift. Mirai is happy, but she misunderstands the relationship between him and Candy and rejects the gift. Feeling responsible, Candy tries to correct Mirai's misunderstanding, but Mirai coldly rejects her. But deep down, Mirai also loves him.

Groper Train: Forbidden Finger

2.0 1985
Baat Ban Jaye

Wealthy Mr. Singh would like to see his daughter get married but she hates wealthy men. So he finds several poor men: Ajay Srivastav, who is already married and also has 3 daughters; Yeshwant Bhosle, a TV repairman who ends up being a multi-millionaire after his invention is marketed; Viju Guide, a Hyderabad-based Tourist Guide, who finds buried treasure and also ends up a multi-millionaire; and Prakash, a motor mechanic who ends up being the only son of wealthy builder. Finally Nisha meets her ideal match in Rukhtapur-based Suraj Singh, a wedding singer/dancer, and gets married to him. But is Suraj Singh who he really claims to be?

Baat Ban Jaye

8.0 1986
Benno Makes Stories

Benno (Torsten Rennert), a bright boy from Berlin, is not really a problem case, although his parents have enough trouble with him. But that's not just because of Benno, but because no one really has time for him. During a train ride, he meets a pensioner Oskar Schrader (Erwin Geschonneck), who likes to cook, collect watches, master magic tricks and who lives in the middle of nature. Between them they develop a real friendship. Benno is allowed to spend his school holidays with his friend. The grumpy Oskar lives alone in a garden colony - with friendly and unfriendly neighbors. Benno enjoys playing tricks with his buddy Mutz (Thomas Hoffer) on this neighborhood including the cranky animal lover Irma Kalweit (Agnes Krause) and the rude daredevil Ralf Klotz (Henry Hübchen).

Benno Makes Stories

3.0 1982